My Mother In Law. How do I even begin to describe her?
She is 68 years old, has been married many times and had many boyfriends over the 33 years I have known her. All this results in one bad decision after another from which she has to be "rescued". My husband, being the oldest, is the one who takes on the rescuing role.
The distrubing thing to me about her is that she nevers sees how she causes her own problems. In her mind they are always someones elses fault.
Well, she has done it again.
9 months ago she met a guy online that she was sure was her "sole mate". She sold her house, gave away her dog, quit her job and moved to be with this guy. And guess what? It didn't work out. Shocking I know.
2 nights ago she and her latest bad decision got into a fight, she packed up her car and is headed home. Home being our house since she has no where else to go, my brother in law refuses to get involved in anymore of her dramas, and my husband feels it's his duty to rescue her again. So when I return home from work today my mother-in-law will once again be living with us. This will be the 3rd time in my 25 years of marriage.It's suppose to be just temporary until she finds another place to live but I am worried about how this will effect my attempt at regaining my health.
My husband, even though he feels like he needs to take care of his mom, really resents the role. He is very angry and tense around her and has very little patience. My mother in law is deep in her own pity party and doesn't see or care how her actions effect others which frustrates me to no end. All this causes me so much stress and when I get stressed........I eat.
Last night I let it all get the best of me and I ate a candy bar. This morning I'm so angry with myself. I'm going to have to come up with better coping skills then that if I am to survive the next few months and stay on the road to better health.
I'm so grateful I started this blog. It gives me a place to vent my frustrations in a safe enviroment. Thanks to everyone for reading and listening. Any suggestions you have I'll take!
Argghhhhhhh!
I left you an award on my blog!!
ReplyDeleteIf I ate every time that my husbands family stressed me out then I can only imagine how much I would weigh right now. I completely understand where you are coming from. My husband came from a very abusive family who are a bunch of users and losers. I hate to sound so harsh but the truth is the truth and I try my best not to let it bother me when he does for them but for some reason he feels like he has to be the rescuer in every situation to. At least it sounds like your husband knows that its wrong for him to have to take on this role but he feels some sense of obligation, mine on the other hand thinks he is totally justified in taking on that role. So it not only causes strive between myself and his family but between me and my husband to. The only advice I can give you and the only way I have found to deal with this is refuse to let anyone else sabotage my weight loss. By letting them upset me I've already given them one victory and I won't let them have another. You just have to find strength inside yourself to say no. I know thats easier said than done but I have given so many people in my past way to much control over me and its time I take that power back. Good luck and I hope her stay is a quick one.
ReplyDeleteThank Christina, that is awesome advice. I love the part about not giving people control over me and taking my power back!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's my new motto! TAKING MY POWER BACK! Yeah!